Loneliness and Dissertations

July 11th is National Cheer Up the Lonely Day, and dissertation students are some of the loneliest people out there…

Yesterday I discussed some of the incredible passions that doctoral students hold dear to their hearts. They want to share, motivate, and inspire. They want to make an impact in the lives of those around them. They want to change the world.

Cultural anthropologist, Margaret Mead famously admonished, “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.”

Steve Jobs talked about “the crazy ones, the misfits, … the round pegs in the square holes.” It can be a very solitary experience to cleave to such lofty goals. In fact, a quick review of several years of U.S. Census data reveals that only about 1% of the U.S. population ever earns a research-based doctoral degree.

The rarity of the doctoral student is magnified by the fact that so many modern-day doctoral students pursue their degrees remotely… through online programs or otherwise away from the community of a university campus.

They report feeling confused, lost, and alone. And these feelings foment high levels of stress, frustration, and despondency.

One of my former dissertation students studied this phenomenon. Her research focussed on the types of support that doctoral student require to complete their dissertations remotely. She found that two types of support are critical: academic support and emotional support.

Academic support is all about “how, what, and when.”

How do I do … ?

What steps should I take to complete my … ?

When should I work on … ?

Emotional support is all about confidence, empathy, and feeling that you can get it done.

“How can I complete my dissertation and work full-time?”

“My committee hates me and doesn’t want me to graduate.”

“I’m lost and not getting anywhere.”

Interestingly, the research found that emotional support from family and friends can be counterproductive. One participant reported lashing out at her husband, “Shut up! You don’t know what you’re talking about!” His offensive gibe? “You’re so smart. You can do this!”

But, the participant was right. Her husband didn’t know what she was going through. Sometimes even the well-meaning support of friends and family can come off as a taunt to a frazzled dissertation victim.

If you’re wondering when I’m going to get around to the “cheer up” part of National Cheer Up the Lonely Day, here goes…

Cheer up! You don’t have to be alone. You can reach out and find a source of support and guidance to help you through the dissertation process. Whether it’s an accountability partner who is also pursuing his or her doctoral degree, or a friend or colleague who’s already earned theirs, support if out there if you look for it!