Rednecks and Dissertations

September 6th is, comedian, Jeff Foxworthy’s birthday. Let’s take a moment to laugh with a spin on his “You Might Be a Redneck” observations for dissertation students…

Sometimes you just have to laugh to keep from crying. The dissertation is a long, frustrating, difficult process. If humor is born of pain, the whole dissertation journey should be hilarious.

Of course, there aren’t many comedians with PhDs, so here’s a take on Jeff Foxworthy’s “You Might Be a Redneck” bit*…

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You Might Be a Dissertation Student If…

…you’ve ever brought a scholarly article to a bar.

…you rate coffee shops by the availability of outlets for your laptop.

…everything reminds you of something in your discipline.

…you’ve ever discussed academic matters at a sporting event.

…you regard ibuprofen as a vitamin.

…you consider all papers to be works in progress.

…professors don’t really care when you turn in work anymore.

…you find the bibliographies of books more interesting than the actual text.

…you’ve accepted guilt as an inherent feature of relaxation.

…you find yourself explaining to children that you are in “20th grade.”

…your children (or grandchildren) ask to hear “Goldilocks et al” or “Snow White et al” at bedtime.

…you can’t recite a nursery rhyme without muttering something about anthropomorphisms.

…you wonder if APA style allows you to cite talking to yourself as “personal communication.”

…you’ve actually learned how to say “phenomenological.”

…you’ve got a “When I Finish My Dissertation” list.

…the only thing on your bucket list is “Finish My Dissertation.”

…you’ve ever asked your spouse to cite their sources during an argument.